the hardest part of my job

Last night I witnessed a traumatic event that resulted in a child losing his life. There is no sugar coating it, one minute he was there and the next he wasn't. This is the hardest part of my job. It's very easy to get caught up in the medications, the vitals, the labs, or the endless orders that are given to you and miss just really how sick these kids are and just how fragile their life is.  It happened right before shift change of course and I don't think I'll ever forget the moment where the father is on the floor crying and the mother is in the room holding her child who has just passed. This all when I am trying to give report and go about my business as usual. No matter how long I am in this profession I don't think I will ever get used to those types of cries. 
All I felt during that time was horror, I wish I could have had it in me to be praising God as he came in quietly as we were giving compressions to the child and took the child away in his arms but all I felt was sadness and pain. I know and believe that is what happened. That little child has no pain any longer and is sitting in the lap of my Savior. 

This was a grim post but all that to say that I executively decided to put the February challenge on hold and I let myself have a glass of wine last night. 

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